Who Cares
It is a chilly evening in the middle of Autumn. In a house in a small and wealthy community, a teenage girl sits on her bed looking at the sliding mirror in front of her. Although she has everything she's always wanted, she stares at the mirror, but not necessarily looking at anything that can be found in the reflection. Instead, she lets her gaze bounce back and she allows herself to study nothing other than the beauty of a seemingly meaningless reflection. She distracts herself, trying not to think about the future. But the mirror doesn't allow her to look back into her past to where she wants to be. 

She is scared to grow up. Frightened of the future that is approaching, she cries every night. The child inside of her forces her to be completely oblivious to how much it wants her to stay. Part of her tries to resist this unnoticed grasp that her past has on her. The part of her that wants to grow up is now a slave to fear. The fear has been put there by the reflection that she can't seem to find in her mirror.

Sitting on her bed, she remains oblivious to the battle that is taking place between the adult side of her, and the child side of her. But soon she slips out out of the spell that was cast to shield her from the horror of the battle. She witnesses her childlike personality being weakened by maturity and responsibility. She doesn't care.

More Over Here

Being back in California has brought back a lot of my memories. Even though things have changed, I feel as though I'm a little girl again. I feel like I am reliving my early childhood. It's not quite the same, but it's what I've been waiting for. It's that spark I've been searching for. 

I consider my memories to be a part of my family. My memories are the part of my family that showed me who I could be. I could be fearless and I could be invincible. Nothing could scare me and nothing could bring me down. Now that I am here in California, I am being reminded of who I can be. I can be fearless. I can be invincible. I can be myself.  There is more over here. More than over there.

Sisters
I need you to know that I will never give up on you. Sisters always stay together. We might be separated at times, but I will always be where you can find me. 

Hard times have once again found their way into your mind, bringing back memories that should have been forgotten long ago. But don't you worry. I don't intend to let you stay in the past. I don't intend to leave you behind.

Look ahead lil sis. Keep your head up. Be confident because you're beautiful. Inside, and out. We're sisters. We'll always be sisters.

A Change
A change in life
can be good
or it can be difficult

A change in life
may sometimes seem
like taking a step back
perhaps it feels like
reliving a bad dream
or maybe it brings
a feeling of contentment

A change in life
may sometimes seem
like climbing a mountain
perhaps it feels like 
your legs are not strong enough
or maybe it makes you feel
like you can do anything

A change in life
is a change that
no matter what
will always make you stronger

Be patient with life
and the changes that it brings
it will challenge you
to be the best that you can be.
and it will always make you stronger.

Best Friend
My best friend 
is like a sister to me
I love her dearly

I will always be there for her
We will always be sisters 
no matter what

Making a friend 
gives me joy
Making a best friend
Well that's an even better feeling

Growing Up (submitted and written by one of my friends)
How do you tell yourself to grow up when you really don't want to? I want to go back to being that little girl I was. With the perfect family and the perfect life. Now that I'm older, things are getting colder. I lost everything and I'm dying inside. But no one really cares to help me. Sometimes I think about whether or not I'm even supposed to be here. Sometimes life just sucks. I feel like when I was a little girl I had so much going on for me. I had happiness. But now I've pushed happiness away. I tried to be strong...but then I grew up and my happiness is gone. I don't know how, or why, I hate growing up. I just don't want to grow up. --Anonymous

Hey, homies! Thank you guys so much for continuing to read my blog and taking time to read the things that come from my heart. It means so much to me. Poetry is a beautiful thing that comes from people's hearts. Poetry is used to communicate the stuff that you wouldn't necessarily be able to communicate in person. The stories and memories that we have can always be put into some form of poetry. So, I encourage you guys to try it. Maybe keep a journal. Anyways, I love y'all, and thanks for reading my blog! I hope you guys continue to read my stories and memories!

Spark (Life Update)
I have so many memories deep inside my heart. But there is no spark. I need a reminder of what my childhood felt like. I remember the days when my family and I did everything together. But I just remember that I have those memories. I don't remember the actual memories. I need that spark to jump start my mind so that I can remember my childhood. Sure, you can test me and say, "Oh you're joking. You must remember a lot of your memories. What about the time when---". And I'll say, "Oh yah! Haha that was an awesome day!" That's a lie. Guess what. Most of the time I'll be thinking to myself, desperately trying to figure out how to remember that day. I need that spark.

I Am Eleven Years Old (Life Update)

I think I figured it out. My childhood stopped when I was eleven. I was supposed to grow up. I was expected to grow up. I didn't want to. I didn't understand and I didn't want to understand. All I knew is that I wanted everything that had happened to be nonexistent. So now I am still eleven years old. And I want everything to be the way it was before it all happened. I guess my mind doesn't understand that everybody else has grown up. I was left in my own little eleven year old world. Only...there's nothing there...I am eleven years old in an eighteen year old body. My mind shut down and my emotions are like those of a two year old. And that my friend, is why I don't want to grow up. You may laugh when I tell you that I cry when I think about losing my stuffed animals or giving away my toys, but at least we both know why I am like this. If you are twelve or over, then you are older than me.

Venom (Part 2 of Telling)
When I tell someone who I really am, usually I feel a sense of relief. But when people don't accept me, I panic. That's when I need someone to hear me out. I need to talk to someone who is immune to my venom. But unfortunately, no one is. So far, I haven't met a single person who is strong enough to be immune.

Telling (Part 1)

When you tell your friend a secret that has been hiding deep inside your heart, you tell it with complete confidence thinking that they would never judge you or look at you any different. It's a hard decision to make as to whether or not you should tell someone something about yourself. Choose wisely when telling secrets. I think I chose wisely. Now I just have to wait. Wait to see if my book is judged by its cover. I hope it's not.

My Motto
If your music comes
from your heart,
it is always a sweet sound.
It is always beautiful.

Daddy
Dad. I love you so much. Each
and every day of my life, you have been there for me.
Daddies and daughters always form a special bond.
Don't ever forget how much I love you.
You are the best dad ever.

Pay Attention (Life Update)

A lot of times it's really hard for me to get through life. It seems like every time I talk to people about my problems, something goes wrong and I lose them. I don't know if they're just scared, or if they just don't care. Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me. I mean, everybody has their problems, right? I just want to figure out what's wrong with ME. I want to figure out why I tend to push people away. Some people might read this and think, "You don't push people away. You're a good friend." But ever since the summer of 2013, I've had to really watch what I say, think, and do in every situation of my life. I can't go about my day like most people can. Every second of my life, I have to pay attention to what I'm saying, thinking, and doing.

A Virus
My memories have been blurry for most of my life.
At least, I think they have. I don't remember.
My memory is like a file on a computer that has been corrupted and fractured.
I can't find the program I need in order to recover the files.
More memories find their way into my brain only to prepare for a break in.
And the virus grows stronger. Slow enough to go unnoticed.
Casually deleting memories. Leaving only small patches of memories.
It is a virus. I cannot find the right program to kill it.
I need an update. But none are available.
I need to start fresh. With a new hard drive.
A new memory. With a backup program. 

Please leave your comments below with topics or some feelings that you would like me to type up and post to my blog as a poem or short story. There's nothing better than being able to express emotions with a touch of creativity!

Realizing Reality (Short Story)
So...my best friend found out that they're moving in less than a week. I knew that they might move, but I didn't want to believe it. I don't know what to do in this short amount of time. I don't know how to feel. I am upset about this event that will soon take place in my life. I guess this is reality. People move. Maybe they come back to visit. Maybe they come back to stay. But, maybe they won't visit. I'll keep my hopes up and say to myself, "this is a small world. We will cross paths at least once." But then I realize the reality of it all. The World is not that small. So I will cherish the memories that I have been given. I will remember them. Because that's what friends do. They remember one another.

Mommy

Mom. You are the best.

One can get a tattoo with the words 'I love you Mom', but the 

most powerful gesture of love is made by making

memories of laughter, happiness, and even sadness.

You are the best mom ever.

Tornado Warning (Story)
I was calm on Saturday evening. I was playing video games and eating chicken wings. My Dad walked in and asked me, "You like severe weather, right? There is a tornado warning, so buckle down!" I feel my heart race and I try to remember that I like stormy weather. But a tornado warning seems to be a little over the top, even for me. 

My childish instincts and emotions kick in. I go up to my rooms and collect as many stuffed animals as I can. I grab my bunnies, bears, and other assorted stuffed toys that I can't live without. I snatch up my iPod and my phone. My Mom sees me as I run all around our house. I grab a sleeping bag, a flashlight, a lot of water, and a radio. I go out to the garage and grab the cat carriers. I find each of the cats, but my Mom disapproves of this and says that the cats will panic if I put them in their carriers.

I settle down a bit and my panic decreases. Dad comes back to tell me that a tornado warning means that there MIGHT be a tornado. A tornado watch means that there WILL be a tornado. I return to my video games and continue to eat my chicken wings. So now I know what I would do if there was ever a tornado.

2022
Not the 'Big Forty'
But still an age to celebrate.
25 years. 9,125 days.
Twenty-five in 2022.
Flying cars and new movie stars.
Possibilities are endless.
I can't even begin to imagine what else will be waiting for me.
A world full of new ideas and brilliant minds.
25 years old and and still discovering how much more the world has to offer.
Maybe world peace. Sounds cheesy..I know.
But to hope for the best, well that's as high as you can get!

Twenty-five in 2022.
A new generation to continue to shape the world in every way possible.
Technology, medicine, politics, and more.
Opening my eyes to a whole new world.
I'm not going to rush to get to twenty-five.
I'll celebrate each day, as each day is special.
Starting in 2022, I'll be 25 years old. Which is 9,125 days.
But I'd like to celebrate for how old I am right now.
Not 25 in 2022. But almost 18 in 2015.

Nostalgia 
The pattering of paws 
on the glossy hardwood floor.
Autumn leaves welcoming a child 
as she goes outside.

A dad and his daughter 
flipping through an old storybook.
The comforting sound of a mom's voice 
in the darkest of times.

The splashing of waves 
the feel of salty water.
The pain of wind 
drying out eyes 
but never making them any less happy 
to be going so fast
on a boat so grand.

The smell of a garden in California with no sound 
other than the birds and the rustling of trees.
A girl waiting patiently 
as her grandma talks on the phone.

These are some things of nostalgia for me. 
These are some of my best memories.

Hating on Gibberish
The words that come out of my mouth.
They make perfect sense to me.
I say them with no hesitation.
I say them with confidence.
Yet people give me a look of disgust.
Even this is gibberish...in a way.
Now I'm just writing this to take my mind off of something.
So don't judge.
Don't hate on gibberish.

Don't Tell Anyone Cool
I like school.
Don't tell anyone cool.
I like english arts and chemistry.
I like history and maybe...
some algebra, too.
I enjoy my classes and electives.
So don't tell anyone cool
that I like school. 

Made Me Smile
Stepping off the bus.
My shoes meeting the ground once again.
Turn to the left.
Turn to the right.
I am here.

Through the doors.
Anxious to see my friends.
Always in the same place.
I know that most like my hugs.
I see more faces.

People turn and smile and wave.
Others just continue talking.
Then I see my friends.
Time for hugs!
I see more faces.

Some of my teachers.
Some of my friends.
Some of my mentors.
Some make me laugh.
None make me angry.

Stepping into the bus.
Buckling up.
Looking out the window.
My friends, and my teachers
Made me smile.

Over There

Where are you when I cry?

Where are you when I fall?

I look around.

Up and down.

Left and right.

But you are not here.

I will cry a little more to see if you come.

To see if you care.

I look around.

Up and down.

Left and right.

I do not see you there.

I look around.

One more time.

Up and down.

Left and right.

And over there.

I look behind me.

I see a shadow.

It does not belong to me.

There you are.

Over there.

Now just a memory.

Fading away.

 

Suggestions

Heyya guys! If any of you have any suggestions or casual requests for poems that you would like me to write, please comment below!!!

Dark Sunset

In the forest.

Damp and dark.

The Sun is blocked.

Birds stop singing.

In the forest.

Shadows take over.

It is a dark sunset.

It cannot be seen.

Focus

People all around.

Talking! Always talking!

Headphones are on.

They don't seem to help.

Focus. Keep trying.

Deep in thought.

Hurry! Don't wait!

Now think harder.

Don't ever give it up.

Focus. Keep trying.

This is it.

Focus. Keep trying.

Hit "Snooze"
I hit the "snooze" button. 
I once again begin to dream. 
Still awake, but in my own world. 
I don't dream pretty. 
I don't dream of princes on ponies or frogs and kisses. 
I dream of the reality of life and the reality of death. 
Like I said before, I'm in my own world. 

In my dreams, life is always there. 
Death retreats in despair. 
In my dreams, people play fair.
But this can't be right. 
My life isn't perfect and the world…
it doesn't play fair. 

Death sets its trap.
It waits in the shadows. 
Life is ensnared.
It is taken away.
Death leaps out of the shadows.
Then stares at its prey. 
Life looks up, but not at its killer.
Death looks up and starts to shiver. 

Life just smiles and closes its eyes.
For a new Life is born. 
Life is back.
Death is now frightened. 
Life fills my world.
I emerge from my dream. 
My alarm goes off.
The "snooze" button is no longer appealing. 
I get out of bed.
And although Life and Death never play fair, I want to see what happens. 
Right now I really don't care. 
Today, Life is in my favor.
 At this moment, Death is nowhere.

You Can't See Me

I am alive and I am well. I breathe and I have emotions. I smile and I laugh. I walk among you. I do the things you do. I say the things you say. I feel the things you feel. You can't see me. I keep it all in. You can't see the real me.